February 29, 2012
Once again Ohio provided us with odd weather in a so-called “winter” month, it is February and it was about 65 F out today. We were also under a tornado watch at one point this afternoon even though it never ended up thunder storming this evening. I wish I had taken advantage of the warmer weather and had taken a walk after getting off from work, but I ended running to the store and then coming home and taking a nap because I had developed another stress related headache. My grandmother passed away yesterday morning, so things have been a little crazy in my family lately. I am grateful that I am on an even keel in life right now or this situation would be even more difficult for me. Patrick and I are going out of town on Friday for the funeral which is being held in Illinois. I was able to get the day off work so that I could make the 6. 5 hour drive. Luckily there is no work for me tomorrow since the school is closed for students. I have my x-ray and urology appointment tomorrow afternoon to make sure my kidney stone is not still in me. I also have a counseling appointment to attend. Patrick and I were able to get our packing for the trip done this evening so that is one less thing to worry about tomorrow. Next week when life is getting back to normal I am going to go to the gym, I need to get another 50 lbs off and I haven’t been to the gym much because of several factors, my kidney stone and my grandmother’s passing to name a few. Life will stabilize again for all of us.
I am not even going to say where I found this picture because if you are a follower of this blog, you already know where I find these amazing quotes. If you don’t know, check my last post. I have been collecting a lot of journey or path related quotes lately and this one really caught my eye. Honestly I have to agree that the most important person you are going to meet on your journey through life is yourself. You will find a person you have never known before and that person is you. The person you meet will be healthier, wiser, more energetic, and more positive about life. And when you start down your path or on your journey, you never know where your path is going to lead and that is the magic of a journey. You are able to meet so many new people, including yourself, and you are able to learn new ideas and knowledge. Viewing life as a journey is the best way to go about living your life. It has a beginning and it will one day have an end, but enjoy your time here and make the best of it. One day it will come to an end, you want to be able to remember the wonderful journey you had and all the special people who were along your path and those who make have even walked the path with you. When my journey is up, I was to look about and be able to be proud of who I was and what I did.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die today.” ~James Dean
February 27, 2012
I am sorry to any of my daily followers for the lack of a post last night. I got pretty sick towards the end of the night. I was actually throwing up, which I haven’t done in a long time. By the time I was ready to blog, I lacked the energy to write anything. The past few nights I have not been sleeping well due to some stress going on with the family right now. I woke up last night at 3:30 in the morning and wasn’t able to go back to bed until almost 6:30. I got another hour of sleep before having to get up at 8:00 for work. I have just been having a lot of nighttime anxiety the past several days. It will pass when the stress is gone. After work today, which thankfully was very quiet and very quick, Patrick and I took our cat to the vet for his yearly check-up. He is just about stabilized with his weight which is good since a few years ago he had dropped down to 7 lbs, now his is holding steady around 10 lbs 5 ozs. He still is on his medications, but low doses. I think they are keeping him stabilized. I honestly thought we were going to lose him earlier last year, he didn’t look or feel good. But now he is happy and content. Patrick and I also did some juicing this evening. One juice was ginger, orange, mango, and apple and the other kind was watermelon, strawberry, blueberries, and wheat grass.
I will not see much of my husband for the next several months due to the face that he is going to be working two jobs for a bit. He had orientation for his new job this morning and will be starting there next Monday. I am looking forward to our anniversary weekend get away in May, the hot tub will be calling our name. I have decided against starting medical assistant training for now. I think it will be too much for me at this point, plus I have some more weight to get off and that is more important to me. Once we are able to go on benefits provided by Patrick we can go off of mine leaving me open to looking for a better job. I have a master’s degree and need to go on a hard core job hunt with it. I applied to two internal professional job postings at my current employer that are full time and I wouldn’t lose my benefits if I transfer. So I am hoping by June that Patrick will have benefits and that I can look for some more professional type jobs. This low paying job crap is getting to me.
Once again, Pinterest has helped me find another awesome quote picture. While I was awake early this morning I was messing around on Pinterest trying to pass the time and make myself tired. Someone I follow had pinned this, I knew I needed to re-pin it and post it on the blog and Facebook. I agree a lot with this statement because honestly I don’t think I would be where I am today without me hitting rock bottom last year. It took me almost wanting to take my life to gain it back. I am not saying that gaining hundreds of pounds and then having surgery is the way to get your life back on track, but for me, it took me hitting rock bottom to see where my life was heading (my early departure from this world.) Life isn’t 100% yet and may never be, but it is definitively heading in the right direction.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.” ~Gilda Radner
February 25, 2012
Tonight I want to talk about conquering one’s fears. Today I thought a lot about my fears in life which are mainly not succeeding in life, growing old, and death. The last two I have no control over and those two are the ones that scare me the most. I have always been afraid of death, especially of my own. I used to have very extreme panic attacks about it as a child. I had my last severe full blown one about 8 years ago. I rarely have a full blown one now which is good, but it’s mainly because of the 3 things I am prescribed to take at night because the panic attacks and severe anxiety. I truly hate when a family member passes away because it is so permanent, I know that I will never see them again, but I also know that they are not longing suffering. I am not into organized religion, so I have my own opinions about what happens after death. I know many people would say that if I believed in something after death I wouldn’t be so scared of it, I am not even going down that road with anyone, so please do not comment on here about that. Anyway, one of my goals that I want to work on in counseling is my fear of growing old and dying. We talked about it briefly last summer, so I think it is time to bring it up again.
Once again I found an awesome picture on Pinterest. It talks about not fearing what bothers you. Fear is a total mind killer. When I am overcome with fear, I completely shut down both mentally and emotionally. I become numb, but what I need to do is face it and then let it pass. Because I am so much stronger that fear. Fear will and does leave, because when it is gone I am the only one still standing. I need to conquer all my fears over the next few years. I don’t want to be afraid of growing old, watching my family grow old, and eventually death for all of us. I need to embrace that death is a part of life that I should not be afraid of. I don’t want to live forever either especially if my loved ones weren’t with me, because they are a part of what makes life amazing. I know that once I am in my 80s (if I make it that long) I will no longer fear death, I will most likely embrace it and be ready for it. But for now as a woman in my late 20s it is a true fear to be and is unfortunately happening to my older loved ones every year or so. Now is the time to tackle my fear because one day it will be me.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers but to be fearless in facing them. Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but for the heart to conquer it. Let me not look for allies in life’s battlefield but to my own strength. Let me not cave in.” ~Rabindranath Tagore
February 24, 2012
I was so happy that today was Friday, work was a little on the crazy side today and I was glad when it was over. After work Patrick and I went to visit my grandmother. Now we are home for the evening and plan to remain at home most of the weekend since we are suppose to be getting snow this weekend. I only have a four day work week next week because the students are off Thursday due to a teacher development day, since the children aren’t going to be there, I don’t have to be there. I just wish the day off was on Friday and not Thursday, who wants to have Thursday off, come back Friday, and then off the weekend. On this day off I have a counseling appointment and my follow up appointment with my urologist. I still don’t know if I passed the stone yet or not. I have to get an x-ray on Thursday morning to bring to my appointment. I haven’t seen the stone yet and I don’t have much pain anymore like I was, so it’s hard for me to tell if it’s gone or not. I am also taken the cat into the vet on Monday for his check-up. Patrick has orientation on Monday for a second job. He is going to be working as a nursing assistant for a home health care company for awhile until his hours pick up at his current job which he really likes and doesn’t want to leave, but right now the client numbers are done so he is not able to work as many hours as he had hoped, his job thinks they should be able to give him a lot more hours in a few months. This second job is willing to work around his other job, so it will be easy for him to work both jobs for a bit. Plus we need more money coming in right now since we had to get a new car a month ago. Luckily set aside money to pay for March, April, and May’s car payments so we are set until June. Things should be good by then.
Lately Pinterest have been providing me with lots of awesome quotes. I have been using them for topics the last few days. Above is another really great one that I found. The picture speaks for itself. It reminds me that’s it okay to move on from the past. Letting go of the past and moving on won’t make me weak or lose control, it actually makes me a stronger person because I am able to push away from the table (that is my past) and walk away. And just because I am moving on doesn’t mean I am running away from what happened it just means that I have accepted it, conquered it, and am ready to focus on the present and the future that lies ahead. Ever since getting my head on straight last summer I have been able to move on a lot easier than before because I have learned to accept the past and other things much better and am able to walk away from situations without becoming upset.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.” ~Carl Sandburg
February 23, 2012
In yesterday’s post I promised you that I would share my list of reasons I can exercise and eat healthy. I need to print this list out and hang it up when I am feeling like I want to take the easy way out.
- I can take time to cook a healthy meal for dinner because I have the time and the ingredients on hand to do so. I need to remember that some people having nothing at all to eat for dinner.
- I can buy healthy foods because my budget (thanks dad!) allows me too. Some people have little money available and buy whatever is cheapest so that they have enough to feed themselves and their family.
- I can go to the gym after work because I have membership available to me.
- I can go for a walk around the block because I live in a nice neighborhood and I feel safe. Some people have no sidewalks in their neighbor and they don’t even refeel safe enough to go outside.
- I can drink all my water for the day because I have clean water available to me. In some parts of the world fresh clean water isn’t available.
When I think I have it bad, I need to remember how fortunate I am to have so many luxuries available to me. I need to utilize them more often and need to take a look at this list when I feel like I don’t have time for something.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.” ~Edward Everett Hale
February 22, 2012
I am not sure what to blog about tonight, I spent most of my evening making muffins for an event at work and then we ran over to CVS to pick up some of my medication that was ready. Now I thought I would write a short little entry before taking my bath. Work went quickly and I am thankful tomorrow is already Thursday. I know I just had 4 days off in a row last weekend but with trying to pass the kidney stone and all that has been going on with work lately, I have days where I just want to stay home and do nothing. I know things are only going to get crazier with starting my medical assistant training in 3 weeks. It’s going to be rough to get to the gym, I will have to go right after work before I even go home. But working out is key to having a successful weight loss journey, so I will have to make it work some how.
I need to remind myself of all the reasons that I CAN go to the gym after work or remind myself that I CAN eat healthy. It’s so easy to say I don’t want to do that because I don’t have time or it’s easier to pick up fast food. But honestly you have as many hours in a day as everyone else who eats healthy and exercises. Think about all the amazing people out there who have helped shape our world, they too only had/have 24 hours in a day. I posted a quote about that very topic last Sunday night in the blog post, My New Addiction…Juicing, I wish I had saved it for tonight, please go back and read it. Then print it out and put it on your bathroom mirror. Or even make list of reasons you CAN. I will post my reason in tomorrow night’s blog. Maybe your list will be similar to mine. Remember you too can accomplish great things throughout your day, you just have to want it bad enough and to stop making excuses for why you can’t.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure.” ~Don Wilder and Bill Rechin
February 21, 2012
It was back to work this morning, I started my morning off with one of my homemade juices and brought a different flavor for lunch to work with me. I got woken up on of my sleep again from kidney stone pain which is strange because I had gone almost 24 hours without any sort of pain and then was in agony in the middle of the night. Then it went away again and I have had little to no pain all day. I hope it doesn’t come back again tonight. This evening I haven’t been too productive. I took a nap and am looking around for ideas for Patrick’s anniversary gift since he is not home this evening. I thought I would write a quick blog entry while I was on the computer.
Once again I found something awesome on Pinterest. I really like this quote because it reminds me that loving others is most important when they are down because that’s when they need love and support the most. We as humans should not turn our backs others when they are struggling or when we think they are undeserving of our support and love. Many people have given up on me during my weight loss journey, I think of some friends I have lost during this journey and think they left when I needed it the most. And I see others do it to one other all the time. When we are lowest is when we require the most love, that is how we get through tough times. I also think of the people who I have gained and kept along this journey. They did not leave me when life got rough for me. My parents and husband especially. I will never be able to repay them for never leaving my side. No amount of “thank yous” will ever suffice. I can announce to the world on here that I thank them from the bottom of my heart but it’s just not enough to show them how appreciative I am. So if you have a family member or friend who is having a rough time, continue to love them, they need and deserve it the most right now. And if you are having a rough time, think of those who are sticking by you and remember also that I am here to love and support you too. I am available by email (email@example.com) if you ever need to talk whether it be bariatric related or not.
Daily Inspirational Quote: ”Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.” ~Cherokee Indian Proverb
February 20, 2012
I really love my new juicer! I made three different kinds today. Watermelon, strawberry, grape, and ginger. Honeydew melon, cucumber, and mint. Carrot, orange, apple, and ginger. They were all very tasty, I am so happy with the juicer, once again, thank you to my father for buying it for me. We didn’t end up going to the vet today, because they didn’t have us down for an appointment even though I had it written down on 2 of my calenders. Rowan’s vet wasn’t even in today. So the cat got lucky and doesn’t have to go until next Monday after I get off work. Patrick and I went to the gym this morning like I said I was going too. We walked the track and did a little on the exercise bike. My doctor’s appointment went good too. Now that I am stabilized back on my Celexa I don’t have to go back for a month. It’s back to work and reality tomorrow. I don’t have any other appointments this week and I need to enjoy having my evenings free since I am starting medical assistant training in 3 weeks and will never have my weekday evenings free again until the end of December.
I ran across this picture on Pinterest and who would have thought that 5 simple words could be so powerful. I wish I had seen this sooner. It makes me realize that in my weight loss journey that it is okay to take life one pound at a time. Every pound lost is a step closer to my goal. Every day lived in a healthy way is a step closer to my goal. If one thinks ahead too much it is easy to get off track. If you become to obsessed with trying to lose too much too fast, you will become discouraged when you don’t lose that 10 lbs in a week. Take life one day at a time and one pound at a time.
Daily Inspirational Quote: ”The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.” ~Bob Moawad
February 19, 2012
Today was probably the laziest Sunday that I have had in awhile and to think my weekend isn’t over yet since I am off work tomorrow because of President’s Day. The one productive thing we did do today was go out and buy a juicer. I have wanted a juicer for a long time and have always wanted to try juicing my own fruits and vegetables. We just used it for the first time a little bit ago and I was very happy with my purchase. I didn’t follow any particular recipe, I just threw in what fruits and vegetables I had in the house. I juiced some celery, spinach, grapes, peaches, and an apple. It turned out very good and I was surprised by how much I liked the taste. I found a really tasty sounding recipe that I want to try, it’s honeydew melon, cucumber, and mint! I also want to try watermelon, apple, and strawberry. So it looks like another trip to the store tomorrow to buy those ingredients. If anyone else out there juices and has some good recipes to share, please do! You can either leave them in the comment section or you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Tomorrow, Patrick and I are taking our cat, Rowan, to the vet for his yearly check-up, I know that Rowan is going to be mad at us tomorrow, but he gets over things quickly. I also have an appointment tomorrow with my psychiatric nurse practitioner for a medication check up. The rest of day after we go to the store will be spent at home. I am going to do some juicing and save it so I have it for Tuesday to take to work. We are also going to try to go to the gym tomorrow to walk on the track, I might even do some jogging. I have been relatively in no pain today from the kidney stone. I still have not seen it visibly pass yet. Hopefully the pain is over because I am ready to start exercising again and like I said I want to keep moving forward.
Daily Inspirational Quote: ”Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.” ~Life’s Little Instruction Book, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
February 18, 2012
Sorry that I wasn’t able to post last night. Patrick and I were at a work related social function and didn’t get home until after midnight. Yesterday I was off work so I didn’t do a whole lot. I just caught up on my sleep mostly before going out to a co-worker’s house for the evening. This afternoon Patrick and I went to some thrift and antique shops with my parents. I didn’t find much today but I did find one item which will go perfect in my hallway.
My new item for the hallway! It only set me back $4.00 and the message is priceless.
I am getting more and more excited about starting medical assistant training next month. I know that I will be busy for the next 40 weeks but it will be worth it. I will have a better job when I am done and hopefully will still be able to work with children. I am excited to learn new skills like drawing blood. The one part that I am not looking forward so much is getting my blood draw by other students, mostly because I have such difficult veins to find. I don’t mind needles or blood one bit, I just don’t like getting stabbed so many times because no one can find my veins.
I still have my kidney stone. I just wish it would pass already. I feel like it might soon since the pain I have is low down but then again there is no predicting when it will pass, just hopefully before my next urology appointment. I really don’t want to have it removed because they have to put a stent in to help you pass urine afterwards and there is pain associated with that. That’s why we are giving it 2 more weeks to pass.
I am looking forward to getting back to the gym this week, I am hoping that maybe some walking around the track with help with the kidney stone. I am also ready to move some more pounds. I haven’t been the best with exercise since getting my respiratory infection and the kidney stone. The respiratory infection is finally gone so I am able to breathe much easier. I am also looking at buying a juicer tomorrow and have got some ingredients to make low-sugar, low-calorie smoothies. It’s time to get back on track 100% because with medical assistant training coming up I am sure I will be on my feet a lot. Plus getting another 35 pounds off my 2 year appointment in July would be really nice. I just need to keep moving forward.
Daily Inspirational Quote: ”When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.” ~Unknown