April 30, 2012
After my post last night, I finally decided what I was born to do with my life, help people learn to accept themselves and their current size so that they can learn to live healthier lives, I also what them to know that they are just as important and beautiful at a size 22 as a size 2.
To me that picture is a thing of beauty, that woman has enough confidence in herself that she is willing to take a photo like this and share it with the world. I just wish she was smiling at the camera instead of looking down. After somethings that are going on at home calm down, I am really going to get started following my life’s passion.
Daily Inspirational Quote: ”Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” ~Willie Nelson
April 29, 2012
Every day I reminded how much I hate American (actually probably the entire world) society. I am sure I will get some rude comments about this post, but this is my blog and I am using it to exercise my right to speak what is on my mind. I know that I have scratched the surface before about the way our society treats obese people. That’s what I want to talk about tonight, yes, in full on detail.
I can not stand the way the US or the world treats obese people. I am not necessarily obese because I lay around on my bed all day and eat twenty bags of potato chips for breakfast. Sure there was a time that I did lay around because of my weight, but my weight problem was also sparked by the fact that I was raped by another human being as a teenager. I honestly am glad I choose food as my drug of choose instead of something like crack. Ask yourself, would you rather look at someone with a weight problem or a drug addict? Sadly I have noticed that people don’t want to look at an obese people. I honestly feel like a second class citizen in many circumstances. Just going in a mall makes me feel like crap, I still get looks and comments when I do into a store that sells non-plus size clothes. People just look at me and most think that I do nothing for my health. Don’t judge other people, especially if you know nothing about them.
Just type the word “obesity” into Google Image search, you will get tons of lovely discriminatory photos.
Like this one…
Or my personal favorite…
People think these pictures are funny, they’re not. They are offensive to those of size. Blogs like this http://beastmodaldomains.com/2011/11/09/fat-acceptance-is-unacceptable/ are disgusting. Being unacceptable makes the world even harder for those of size, but why would that author care. He or she doesn’t care, because they don’t have a problem. Seriously go to http://www.naafaonline.com/ and educate yourself.
Fat acceptable should be taught to everyone. When we learn to accept obese people, they will be happier and a happier life leads to a healthier life. But what do I know, I am just a “fattie.” Throw away your prejudices and love the world like we are all the same…because we are.
Daily Inspirational Quote: ”It is never too late to give up our prejudices.” ~Henry David Thoreau
April 28, 2012
Patrick and I went to the eye doctor today. I was relieved that my prescription didn’t change enough to need new glasses. Patrick however did need new glasses and of course our vision insurance only covers new frames every two years and Patrick’s glasses are only a little over a year old. Other than our appointments today was a pretty unproductive day which we spent most of at home. We did go out and do a little shopping around this evening to pass the time. It was such a rough week last week that we both welcomed a day of nothing. Tomorrow will also be spent doing very little. I do need to finish Patrick’s gift for our anniversary which is next Saturday. We are going out of town for the night and looking forward to some time away and alone from the world. We will be staying at our favorite place down in Amish Country, Ohio.
I am hoping for a better week ahead, anything will be better than last week. I just need to remember as I move forward with my week that….
Life will go back to “normal.” Storms always pass and the sun will come out again. I have finally learned this through all my years of severe depression and anxiety. You just have to have faith in yourself that you can go on not matter what you are faced it.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown; faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly” ~Patrick Overton
April 27, 2012
It’s easy to get discouraged in life. I know this all too well. I spend many a night lying awake wondering why certain things didn’t work out, like why didn’t I get that job or why did that person exit my life. I have gotten better about lying in bed thinking about these things.
I had interviewed for a position at the hospital I am employed at over a month ago. I still haven’t heard anything officially. But, on Monday I had noticed on my job’s employee website, where it lists new employees and where they will be working, that two people who were going to be starting in the position that I had interviewed for. Normally, I would be extremely upset about the fact that I didn’t get a position, since I have faced plenty of discrimination in interviews due to my weight. But I just shrugged my shoulders and said no big deal. I have another interview on Tuesday for the same position but in a different department and if I don’t get that job, no big loss. I know there are bigger things in store for me in life. I know it! So what if I have to stay in my current position a little longer until my big thing comes along. At least I am working.
I do not know what “bigger thing” is in store for me yet. But I know I will recognize it when it arrives. I still have big things in store for my blog and my mission. I still want to write my book and I still want to be a motivational speaker. Those things were put on the back burner for a bit, but it’s time to start the stove back up.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “There is only one meaning of life: the act of living itself.” ~Erich Fromm
April 26, 2012
You want to know the worst part of my day? The fact that they are doing construction on the road in front of my apartment for the next three weeks! It is close to impossible to turn left out of the apartment complex and of course to go to work I need to turn left. Thankfully someone let me out this morning. Work was much calmer than yesterday. After work, Patrick and I went to the pet store to get our cat, Rowan, a new collar. His old collar had frayed again, so it was time for a new one. It is a really cute collar, it has baby dragons on it, however they look more like Pokemon than anything else. We also stopped at the book store and got Patrick a Sudoku book. I also found the book I was trying to read, Women, Food, and God for under $4.00. Now I can take my time and not worry about having to renew the book from the library a million times. I am so happy that tomorrow is Friday, nothing planned except that I have to work tomorrow. We will probably try to do something fun but I don’t know what at this moment and I am so glad that our weekend is low key. The only thing we have to do this weekend is go to the eye doctor on Saturday afternoon. I finally get to see how much my vision has declined! Oh and I need to finish Patrick’s anniversary gift seeing as our anniversary is only a week away! But I have to wait until he is out of the house to work on it. Nothing like saving things until the last minute.
Whenever you are in rough place you need to stay strong and be brave with your life so that others can be brave too. If I am not brave; my husband, family, and friends can not be brave. I know that I need to hold it together right now and be brave. This all will pass, nothing goes on forever.
Daily Inspirational Quote:“Nothing lasts forever-not even your troubles.” ~Arnold H. Glasgow
April 25, 2012
Right now my life is extremely stressful. Things are going on that are a test to my will. But I refuse to let all these things get the best of me.
I had another stressful day today, work was insane and I had woke up an hour and half before my normal time and was faced with the worse headache that I have had in a long time. I was so happy when the work day was over. I came home exhausted and decided to lay down for a nap, not something I normally do during the weekdays. But I felt that if I did not lay down and rest that I might collapse. I ended up sleeping for an hour and a half. But I woke up drenched in sweat…again. I have been waking up soaked in sweat for the past week or so. Aside from that I felt much better. I did a little housekeeping with my business and then went to a friend’s house for a few hours for dinner. This friend is a business partner, but is becoming a good friend. Her and her daughters cheered me right up, it was really what I needed today. It’s nice to know that there is a little bit of light that can be found when you feel like you are in a dark place. I am thankful for this person opening their home and family to me today, it saved me for than she will ever realize. Thank you.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “Darkness is only driven out with light, not more darkness.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr
April 24, 2012
Trying to handle what life throws at you is hard, this I know. I feel like I am fighting a constant battle with other forces in life. Life is rarely perfect but it seems like I want to forget that is true. Even though life is not perfect that doesn’t mean you give up working towards your goals and when life throws another curve ball your way you can either get hit in the face or catch it and throw it back. Getting hit in face means you that you are letting the curve ball or the problem that life has handed you, get the best of you. You are unwilling to continue on with life because you have been faced with this problem. You have given up or see no bother in continuing because the worst has come to you. Catching that curve ball and throw it back means that you are acknowledging the problem, fixing the problem, and tossed the problem away because you have conquered whatever your issues is.
Survivors of any kind take the curve ball that is thrown at them, take care of it to the best of their ability, and toss it right back. Sometimes when a curve ball is thrown your way and you toss it back it can come back. Illness is an example. Not everyone can survivor cancer or another life-treating illness, but I would want to be remembered for trying my hardest to get past that curve ball that thrown my way. I want to be remember for fighting hard until the end.
Now, I am not ill or fighting for my life at this time, but life has continued to throw me curve balls, I had another one arrive last week. But instead of how I lived my life in the past by taking the ball in the face and drowning in my sorrows, I am taking this recent curve ball and preparing to toss it back. It might take me awhile to toss the ball back but I am going to do it and when I do I am going to throw it back so hard that it will never come back.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” ~Walter Bagehot
April 22, 2012
While going through some old papers to either destroy or file away, I came across a photo from 2006 of me and my cat. I don’t recall how much I weighed back then but it was probably more than I am know. You could be how big my face and body were back then, grant it I am still a big girl now, but you can look at me know and now my face and body has gotten smaller since then. I also thought I looked sickly in the picture, I would have only been 22 or 23 at the time. This picture which I ended up throwing away this afternoon because it was torn was a sad reminder of where I was for so much of my young adult life. College and graduate school for me were not enjoyable most due to my severe depression and large body size, I didn’t end up enjoy life until July 2011 to current. That’s 10 years of my life, from age 18 to age 28 where I hated my life. I had been hospitalized for severe depression five times in that period. But I also somehow managed to graduate college, graduate grad school, met my husband, and get married all while gaining almost a hundred pounds between age 21 and 27. Kudos to my husband for sticking by me. Most men would have ran off after I put on 10 lbs or was hospitalized the first time.
Now it’s my turn to stick by my husband’s side as we move forward in seeking the right kind of help for him. As our vows said “in sickness and in health.” My husband is my soul mate and best friend as well as my life partner. We have each other’s back every day as we move forward in life. He helped push me forward and it’s my turn to push him forward. Life is amazing, you just have to find what make’s it amazing for you.
Daily Inspirational Quote: ”The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi
April 22, 2012
Sorry for the short hiatus. Thursday was just a crazy day mentally for me and I decided to not blog mainly because I don’t remember too much of the day again, I honestly don’t remember why I didn’t blog. Friday night, Patrick and I went up to Cleveland for a comedy show and went to dinner and shopping. It was nice to have a little date night. This evening we went to dinners at the house of some friends. Tomorrow is okay to be a day of being at home filing papers and doing laundry.
Tonight, I want to talk about never losing hope about a dream. There are many times in our lives that we get so down about things such as a hitting a plateau in your weight loss or hitting a plateau in whatever challenges you face. When you hit that plateau and you can’t get off of it, it feels like the end of the world. I am currently at another plateau with my weight. For about a week I felt like I was at the end of losing anymore weight and that I am going to remain there forever. After speaking with my counselor and doing a little meditation. I realized that the only way that this journey would be over is if I give up and lose hope. I know that if I want more weight to come off, I have to live my dream like it’s going to definitely going to happen. My dream is no longer an option, it’s mandatory. Success will come to be, I just need to be patient and continue to move in a forward direction.
Society in general like to live life in the fast lane, myself included, although I am trying to move away from that mindset. We want instant gratification with everything that happens in our lives. Especially with weight loss. But you have to remember that slow and steady wins the race. Work slowly and diligently towards your dreams, they will come true.
This post is dedicated to a good friend, don’t lose hope and don’t take your eye of the prize.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” ~Oprah Winfrey