May 31, 2012
So after two weeks of going to the chiropractor, we decided to see if maybe a gluten sensitivity is causing my terrible headache. So we are having me go gluten free to see if it helps eliminate my headaches. It’s 6pm here in Ohio and so far I have had no gluten today, the headache is duller than usual and I feel much more awake today. I got several gluten free items at the local health food/farmer’s market. I also got some good fruits and vegetables. I am hoping that eating cleaner will jump start my weight loss again, I have been on a plateau for awhile now. I am not concerned about reaching a certain number, I just would like to see it keep going down for a little while longer.
Every once in awhile I need to remind myself to stay confident and not compare myself to others. Sometimes I look at other surgery patients and wish I had their “success.” But then I stop and realize that I have succeed in many areas in my life that I am not a failure and never will be. I have worked hard to get where I am, I didn’t just have weight loss surgery and then lose 150 lbs in a short amount of time and then it was over, I am not putting down people who have had that success, but it’s their success not mine. Sure it’s taken my a long time to reach my milestones, but who cares, it’s my journey and not anyone else’s. Only when I accept myself as amazing person and I am able to truly succeed. Don’t ever compare yourself to others, it’s a waste of time. Time that could be spent making you the person you were meant to be.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.” ~Unknown
May 29, 2012
I was turned down from a job again. I finally heard back about the interview I had three weeks ago that went so well. I trying to be upbeat but it is hard when all you hear is no. I was upset for about an hour but then I was over it. To me it is just another sign that I am suppose to start my business by the end of the summer. I will focus on that and selling my Mary Kay and then in August return to my job in the school clinic. I am so happy that I only have seven more days left, I will miss most of my co-workers and all the students, it’s a shame that they are closing our school. But that’s part of life and I have to accept it too. I think I came to accept it about a month ago. But I think it will hit me hard next week. I have such a close tie with this school and all the students, I know there will be many tears next week from both staff, students, and me.
It’s time to be strong and not give up. It’s full speed ahead.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.” ~Unknown
May 28, 2012
Just thought I would write a short little post to let you know that I am doing okay. Last night Patrick and I went to our concert, it was such an amazing show right on the lake, we had such a great time. I can’t wait until Staind comes back this way again. I have seen them eight times now and they are always amazing. Today we visited Patrick’s parents for the afternoon. It was nice to have an extra day off with Patrick this week, but sadly it’s back to work for both of us tomorrow. I only have 8 work days left until the end of the school year. Then I am off until the end of August. I have plans to keep busy this summer with getting my business off the ground, selling Mary Kay, and scanning old photos from Patrick’s side of the family. My hope is to get another job so that I can work this summer but so far all my interviews haven’t gone anywhere. I still haven’t heard back about the most recent one which I interviewed for about three weeks ago, so there is a little hope I guess. Things that are meant to happen will happen, I can’t stress about it and I won’t.
A picture from last night’s show.
Daily Inspirational Quote: ”Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.” ~Arnold Bennett
May 25, 2012
Luckily the work day went better than the rest of the week, it was much calmer thankfully. After work on my way home I was listening to the radio and heard that my favorite band was going to be in Cleveland on Sunday, I had heard that Staind was suppose to play the rib cook off in Cleveland but I guess I didn’t believe it because they were just here in December. As soon as I got home I checked to see if there were any tickets left, there were, so I immediately bought them. I am so excited. My recent leg tattoo (that I got in March) is lyrics from one of their songs, Believe, and this will be the eighth (or so, lost track actually) time I have seen them. Plus we have had tickets for a long time to go see Red Hot Chili Peppers next weekend and in two weeks is my birthday, so these next few weeks should be really fun.
I am hoping this June is awesome!
Life is good, forever and always.
Daily Inspirational Quote: ”There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.” ~Beverly Sills
May 24, 2012
Last night I looked at the goals list that I made last December. It was interesting that one of the goals that I thought was so important to me is no longer on my list. One of my goals said “to get pregnant this summer.” My goals have changed. As I have mentioned before the husband and I aren’t sure that children are for us after all. We have no plans in the next few years (or honestly, ever) to actively try for children. I want my business first and want to help others more than anything else right now. I know that by the time I might be willing to have children my biological clock will have run out. But if I feel that need to be a parent then I would adopt. There are so many children out there already that need homes.
One of my other goals was to run a 5K, checked that off the list last weekend! The other goal for the year is to have hit a point of weight loss that I haven’t been in a long time. I am get there, hopefully by the end of the summer. Even though the number on the scale isn’t the most important thing of all to me, I would still like to slowly drop some more weight to at least get under 300lbs making it even easier to run. But it will all come in good time. There is not point in rushing it, good things do come to those work towards their goals and never stop working.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “Don’t pray for lighter burdens, but for stronger backs.” ~Unknown
May 23, 2012
Sorry I didn’t blog last night, some Tuesday evenings I attend my Mary Kay training’s and that makes for a late night sometimes. I really enjoy going. I get to see my fellow Mary Kay girls and learn new things for my Mary Kay business as well as major motivation that applies to both my Mary Kay business and my personal life.
So I am taking the first steps to building the company of my dreams. I have picked a name and have started writing a business plan. My goal is to have my business plan completed over the next few weeks. It’s time to fulfill goal number two of the this year, get my business off the ground.
I found another great image of off Pinterest that I just had to share. What a great way to look at weight loss, from now one I am going to say I got rid of X number of lbs instead of I lost X number of lbs. You’ll notice that I stopped sharing my number with you, one reason is because I have stabilized and haven’t had any huge changes in the last several weeks. I actually went up a few lbs after starting birth control pills four weeks ago, but I am already starting to go back down on the scale. My main reason is that to me you can live a healthier life and still be a number that society doesn’t feel is healthy or is scary, because I think the thought of a person of size actually not stuffing their face with McDonalds at every meal is scary to people. Is someone who is 110 lbs, smokes a pack a day, doesn’t exercise, and eats what ever they want really healthier than me? I might be a “scary” number but I eat as healthy as I can, I don’t smoke, I try to exercise regularly, and I am capable of running a huge chunk of a 5K run. Want to tell me again that I am unhealthy?
Daily Inspirational Quote: “When all’s said and done, all roads lead to the same end. So it’s not so much which road you take, as how you take it.” ~Charles de Lint
May 21, 2012
I was purely amazed by the wonderful outpouring of comments I have received over the last few day. Thank you to all who have commented with kind and encouraging words in regards to my recent 5K. My good friend, Eric from Honey I Shrunk The Grief, even posted a link to last night’s blog entry on his personal and his blog’s Facebook page, his words really touched my heart. I will share them with you because they brought tears to my eyes this afternoon, happy tears.
“Gmorning Sunshine! I’m excited to share an Inspirational blog post my friend Jessica wrote describing her experiences with her first 5K run! I believe any runner — or anyone trying something new and challenging — will appreciate this. And while you’re at her post, please consider leaving her a comment telling her how awesome she is! We all need to be reminded of just how incredible we are…and to be recognized for our achievements and bravery. This life is tough! Thank goodness we have each other to not only get through it…but to Thrive in it! Wishing you all an enjoyable “run” today…filled with Thrive! “.
This really cheered up my day since I was a little day since it was a co-worker’s last day today. I know our school is closing in a few weeks when the school year lets out on the 7th. But I am still sad since she made my days at work enjoyable. Her and I are definitely keeping in touch but the next few weeks will honestly suck without her.
I don’t remember if I mentioned that I want back to see a chiropractor last week or not. I saw her last Wednesday for an exam and x-rays and then came back to go over the x-rays and start treatment. I decided to return to chiropractic treatments since my headaches had return and are worse than before. I got to see some x-rays of my neck and I was amazed to learn that the curve of my neck is reversed which explains the severe headaches and neck pain all the time. We are going to work on reserving the curve of my neck with chiropractic treatments and at home exercises. We are also going to look into whether or not I have an food sensitivities that make my headaches worse. Relief is on the way I hope!
An normal x-ray image of the neck.
An x-ray image of a neck with a reserve curve similar to what my issue is.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “Practice rather than preach. Make of your life an affirmation, defined by your ideals, not the negation of others. Dare to the level of your capability then go beyond to a higher level.” ~Alexander Haig
May 20, 2012
As I was out shopping with Patrick this morning, I became a little pissed that stores don’t think plus size people exercise. I was looking for a certain type of running shirt, the sport goods place around here didn’t have anything bigger than a 2x which I can fit into but for running I would prefer a 3X. We spent a few hours looking for running shirts and a good sports bra. We finally found some things at Walmart, which is not really where I wanted to buy that kind of thing but I couldn’t find them anywhere else. We a went to the sport good store all the women’s active gear is so tiny, so I looked in the men’s stuff which was all 2X. It wasn’t until we stopped at Walmart that we found the type of shirt I wanted in 3X and that goes for the sport bra. The plus size women’s stores didn’t have any sports bras so I ended up settling for one from Walmart. Society apparently thinks all obese people aren’t capable of exercising or running for that matter.
I may not look like a typical runner but I am one. I went out and ran my first 5K yesterday morning and I finished it. I wasn’t even in last place and so what if I had been, I ran and I finished, that’s what is important to me and what makes me a runner. If you are a big girl or guy and enjoy running but face criticism or strange looks as you line up for a race, just say to them, hey big girls (guys) run too! I was comforted by the fact that there was a group of four plus size women running the 5K yesterday. We remained next to them almost the entire 5K but at the end I decided I would pull away because I wanted to complete my goal of finishing in under an hour. I was proud to call these women my running sisters because they weren’t afraid to be out running with everyone else too. I think the picture below describes the reason I like to run the most. It isn’t about beating others, it’s about beating that little voice in your head that says “you can’t do it” or “time to quit.” The competition in running is always yourself.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me… or leave me. Accept me – or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don’t fit your idea of who I should be and don’t try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision. When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad – you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.” ~Stacey Charter
May 19, 2012
Well, I did it, I completed my first 5K. It was amazing to finish and I have been on a “runner’s high” the entire day. Biggest non-scale victory of my life! I also accomplish a mini goal during my 5K, I was able to finish the run in under an hour with my official race time being 54 mins, 17 seconds. I ran a very good part of it, only probably walking about 3/4 of mile of the whole 3.1 miles. I can’t believe that I accomplished this. It felt good to finish even though I am still obese to medical professionals and society, but to me I am now a runner. So I think I am addicted because I have already signed up to run another 5K. This one is on August 19. Patrick and I are going to do the Lake View Cemetery 5K “A Run Through History.” It is a big beautiful cemetery in Cleveland and I think it will be fun! Now for a relaxing evening and Sunday with Patrick, who I owe a big thanks to. Thank you so much for waking up at 4 am on a Saturday with my to go run 3.1 miles. You are an awesome husband and friend. I couldn’t have thought of anyone better to run beside and finish with this morning.
Before the 5K
Crossing the finish line
Daily Inspirational Quote: “Arriving at one goal is the starting point to another.” ~John Dewey
May 18, 2012
Tomorrow is the big day, my 5K day has finally arrived. I am both nervous and excited at the same time. I am excited because I will be completing a huge goal I set for myself this year. I am not sure why I am nervous, I know I will be able to finish, but my stomach has butterflies in it right now and mostly likely tomorrow morning. I am glad that my husband will be by my side the entire time. I know that he would prefer to spend his early Saturday morning in bed but he is a good man and is not only there for support but he is running also. We both will be wearing shirts from the place he works at that I raised money for. If you are interested about the place you can check out Hiram Farm Living and Learning Community and you can check out my fundraising page too. I am proud to announce that I raised $300!
I am looking forward to sharing pictures with you tomorrow. Please keep me in your thoughts tomorrow morning and send me good vibes, this is a big thing for me! I know it will go well because I found a lucky penny in the parking lot today and the penny was an older penny from 1951. I think I will carry it in my pocket tomorrow.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.” ~Sven Goran Eriksson