The Wagon

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It’s amazing to think that a year ago I had no confidence and could care less about my appearance or anything else for that matter. The picture on the last is from May 2010 at a dinner for my sister’s college graduation. I didn’t even bother to dress nicely or even put a little make up on. I didn’t care what I looked like or what people thought of me. The picture on the right is a completely different person, you can see the confidence and beauty in the current photo which was taken last month the night before Easter. I also weigh about 40 lbs less in the current picture! It’s kind of sad for me to think that in the left picture I was already ten months out from surgery (I’m 22 months today!!!) and looked like shit. Honestly I probably made myself sick at that meal and went and threw up in the restroom. I won’t remember though because July 2010-August 2011 are all a big blur to be. I gave up caring during that time period. I really don’t remember much. I know that I was in the psych ward twice during that time period and that I was mentally and physically ill. I didn’t want to continue on with my life. I had fallen completely off the wagon and it was running away from me fast.

Today a new internet friend (whom I hope to meet soon, she went to high school with my husband) sent me a message, it was very touching. She said “The wagon is waiting for you no matter how many times you slip. You just have to close your eyes, trust yourself, not be afraid to fail and jump.” This is so true. That wagon wasn’t leaving me behind, it was always there waiting for me to get back on.

 

Daily Inspirational Quote: “Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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One thought on “The Wagon

  1. cjcmommy

    Thanks for sharing. People that have never been where you were have no idea how hard it is. The wagon is there.. We can see it but just don’t give a crap about getting on it. I am glad you are doing better. Yes, you can tell in your picture you are happier. It is hard but you are worth it. Keep your head up and smile your beautiful smile.

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