June 30, 2012
I always love attending support group events, I am not sure why I don’t try to attend more often. I enjoyed today’s picnic because you get to be with people just like you who understand you and what you might be going through. It is also nice to hear other people’s stories, it reminds me that everyone has a different story and that I shouldn’t compare myself to others because we are all so different both physically and mentally that there is no way that our journeys could be the same. I really need to work on attending more events, that sounds like a good second half of the year goal. I will attend at least one event/meeting every month, there are plenty to choose from so I really don’t have a good excuse not to go to at least one.
I have now been on just one daily medication (Celexa) for the past 10 days after spending 4 years on at least 6 or 7 medications for depression and anxiety. I still keep one PRN medication (Ativan) in the house just in case I do get a really bad panic attack that I can’t control, which hasn’t happened so far. Once the bottle is empty though, I will not be asking for a refill. My head feels so much clearer. It’s amazing what it feels like to feel human and not just going through the motions of life drugged up. My 2 year follow up with my weight loss surgeon is on the 12th, I am excited to tell him that I am now only on one medication. That was one of the biggest hopes we are had was that the surgery would help me lose enough weight to feel better about myself. That happened and so much more, I couldn’t believe happier.
Feeling Human Again!!!!
Daily Inspirational Quote: ”Some are destined to succeed, some are determined to succeed.” ~H. H. Swami Tejomayananda
June 29, 2012
I made sure to stay very busy today since I am finding myself getting a little bored with being off work for the summer with school out of session. I had a job interview yesterday for a year round position so I am hoping that something will pan out soon. But if not, I will just keep going with the flow of the summer and head back to my school health aide job in August.
I tried the rowing machine again at the gym today, at this point I can only do five minutes on it but I make sure to do those five minutes along with the rest of my routine. Today, I walked and ran some laps and did some of the exercise bike. I spent the rest of my day getting my oil changed, watching a PBS documentary, and cooking. Tomorrow I have my Bariatric support group picnic to attend and then I have to head to the airport to pick up my parents and brother who are coming home from Spain (lucky ducks!) Sunday I will probably just head to the gym again. Patrick worked 12 hours today and works 12 hours both tomorrow and Sunday so I won’t be seeing him until the evenings when he gets home.
I also had a chiropractor appointment. I am thinking about starting a cleanse next Friday, it would be for 21 days, has anyone else tried cleansing/purification and been successful with it in terms of weight loss and/or feeling energized? I would be doing the Standard Process Purification Program since that is what my chiropractor(whom I greatly trust) offers and it is readily available to me. She has given me tons of literature to go over before I make a decision. But I am pretty sure I am going to give it a try since I would love to cleanse my system of all the medications that I have been on for so many years. Side note, I have been doing wonderfully on just one medication instead of six, this makes me so happy!
Daily Inspirational Quote: “I can only tell you one thing I’ve learned. Enjoy the walk along the path you’ve chosen. Don’t count down the days. Make the days count. For this is the true measure of success: not what you achieve but how you achieve it.” ~Unknown
June 28, 2012
I have almost been gluten free now for a month. It has actually been easier than I expect to stay away from gluten and other bread products. It was something I tried not to have a lot of due to being a bariatric patient but I did enjoy it now and then and it made it easier to eat out with friends and family on special occasions. I have tried to become as knowledgeable as possible on the subject and read nutrition labels even closer now. Things that I thought might not have gluten contained it!
I am attending the annual summer picnic with the Bariatric center support group this Saturday and I am make sure to bring a gluten free recipe for myself, but I am hoping there will be other choices available for me to make. I am making a spicy almond and feta quinoa salad that I found in a Kindle book that I downloaded called Caroline Russell’s 50 Gluten Free Recipes. When I became a Bariatric patient two years ago I was made aware of quinoa because of its protein content being better than rice or pasta. It has truly become one of my favorite ingredients to use and I like its nutty flavor as well.
Spicy Almond and Feta Quinoa
1 tbsp. olive oil
1 tsp. ground coriander
½ tsp. turmeric
1 ½ cup quinoa, rinsed
¼ cup toasted almond slivers
½ cup of feta cheese, crumbled (I am using a garlic and herb flavored feta)
1 handful of parsley, chopped
The juice of ½ lemon
1. Cook the spices in 1 tbsp of oil for 1 minute to intensify their aroma. Add the quinoa, mix well and cook for a further minute until you hear a gentle popping.
2. Add 3 cups of boiling water and gently simmer for 10-15 minutes. When the water has evaporated the quinoa grains will have a white halo. Remove from heat and allow it to cool a bit.
3. Stir in all the other ingredients and serve either warm or cold.
Do any of you eat quinoa? Have an good recipes to share?
Daily Inspirational Quote: “Every day of your life is a page of your history.” ~Arabic Proverb
June 27, 2012
Below is my new visual motivator (thank you Pinterest!) One jar holds the amount of marbles that I need to lose to be at my goal weight. There are exactly 156 marbles in the “lbs to lose jar” which equals 156 lbs, which would bring my weight under 200 lbs. Every time I lose a lb I get to move a marble to the other jar, “the lbs lost jar”. If I gain back anything the marble(s) has to go back to the original jar. When my original jar is totally empty it means I have reached my ultimate goal weight of 199 lbs and I will reward myself to my dream trip to Ireland and Scotland that I have been dreaming about for so many years. I don’t care how long it takes to get there…I WILL get there.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing you are working to make things better.” ~Unknown
June 25, 2012
Today Patrick and I took advantage of the nice breezy 70 degree weather here in Ohio to visit the local zoo. I can think back to all the times we would go to that zoo and I would have to sit down and take a break from walking. The Akron Zoo isn’t a very big zoo either so now I look back and can’t believe that it was ever a problem for me. We got to touch a horseshoe crab and a stingray in their new exhibit, we also walked through the gardens there where I found this beautiful butterfly bench. I just had to have Patrick take my picture on it. It is a good photo to remind me of how far I have come and how much I have transformed.
“No one can do it for you…choose to use your wings.” ~Unknown
In a few short weeks, I will be celebrating my two year surgi-versary (July 12) and at the end of July (July 30), Bariatric Beginnings will be turning one year old! It seems like only yesterday I wrote my first blog post. Writing this blog has changed my life and I can’t wait to continue to share my thoughts and experiences with the world. Thank you to those of you who read every post, I appreciate all the comments and emails I receive. It reminds me that somewhere out there I am helping change another person’s life by just trying to be positive. I have officially been off all but one of the six medications that I have been on for years for over a week now. I am doing wonderfully, other than some sleeping issues, and hope that maybe in six months if things continue well that I might be able to live medication free! I have also been eating gluten free for almost a month now, physically I have never felt better. I am going to get back to the gym more frequently now that my withdrawal symptoms are gone. I have another 5K in less than two months and I want to do better time-wise than my first one back in May. It’s hard to believe I will be running a second 5K this summer, two years ago I could barely make it up a flight of steps in my own house without feeling like I was dying. It’s amazing what transformation can do for you both physically and mentally.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “Courage is found in unlikely places.” ~J.R.R. Tolkien
June 22, 2012
To me it has never mattered what someone looks like on the outside. What matters to me is the person’s character. No matter what you look like, we are all the same basic structure inside, a skeleton. When you look at a picture of a skeleton can you tell if it was male or female, fat or skinny in it’s life here on Earth, no not just by looking at it. So why do we look at a picture of another person who is different than us and judge them just by the picture. Just because someone has darker skin or is heavier set than you doesn’t make them a bad person. But sadly in this world, prejudices of all kinds exists. I just returned from the store to get some new pillows and I can’t even tell you how many times I felt that I was being stared at while I was shopping, even when shopping with others, they too have noticed people looking at me. They act like they have never since a plus size girl in shorts before. Or a plus size girl with a normal sized man with a wedding ring on her finger. Yes, big people do fall in love like everyone else. I wish that the world could exist without hatred towards others. It would be such a happier place for everyone, but sadly this world has a long way to go. I doubt I will see it in my life time and that is sad because I am only 29 years old. You can start helping change the world by judging one less person tomorrow, this includes me. I hate being judged, but sometimes find myself judging others. That has to stop, I don’t know their journey and they don’t know mine.
Ugly, Beautiful, Fat, Skinny, Black, White, Gay, Straight. We Are All The Same Inside.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.” ~Paulo Coelho
June 21, 2012
I am certain I have officially turned back into a woman. I had a pedicure and manicure with a family friend and her friend from out of town who is also a fellow WLS’er (who I meet for the first time today). This is the first time since I got married five years ago that I have gotten my nails done, I only had it done then because hey, it was my wedding day. It was nice to just go and be pampered especially on a part of my body I have neglected so much even though it is such an important part, it carries you and your weight through out the day and should be treated respectful. I even got them colored a neon pick color for the hell of it.
Nothing like feeling like a princess for the afternoon!
I can’t wait for my husband to get home from work in 45 minutes he has been at work all day and hasn’t seen my nails yet. He knew I was going but never sees me in nail polish. It took me forever to start wearing makeup and now I sell it. I have gone from completely not caring about my appearance at all to full on girl! It feels good to take care of yourself and your appearance, it really does make you feel more like a person and a woman. That’s the one thing I like about makeup and selling Mary Kay makeup, you are enriching someone’s life with something so small. Even in hard times, women also want to feel beautiful. I know feeling beautiful inside and out has made all the difference in my life. You need to feel beautiful inside to have your outside beauty shine through to the world.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.” ~Vernon Howard
June 20, 2012
Sorry for another long hiatus. I promise I am back for good now! I have been weaning off my anxiety medication. Mentally I have been doing great. I did get pretty sick the last few days due to withdrawal symptoms. This morning was the first day that I feel really good physically. I can’t wait to have everything detoxed out of my system for good. Water has been my friend. I have gone from 6 daily medications down to 1 daily medication and 1 as needed. It feels great not to feel like a zombie trapped in my own head. I choose to stay on my Celexa as I feel that pill as been a key part in my recovery. I am keeping the Atvian on hand for when I get a real bad panic attack and am unable to bring myself out of it. So far that hasn’t really become an issue.
Patrick started his new job last weekend at a nursing home down the street from us. He really seems to like it and you can’t beat the minute commute to and from work. He is working 12 hour shift, so he only has to work 3 days a week to be full time and have benefits. But I know he will pick up extra hours since he is just that kind of guy. I found out the school I am going to be placed at next year, it’s another elementary school so I am very happy about that. I enjoy working with that age group the most and wanted to continue to work with that group. With being off work, I have been trying to keep busy with reading and working on my business plan. I actually took my computer and went to Panera to work for a bit today. I felt that if I worked away from home there would be less distraction. I started on my company’s mission statement, goals, objectives, and possible services, I felt like I was back in graduate school!
As much as I enjoy selling Mary Kay to my friends and family, I have come to realize that is not what I want to do with the rest of my life. My business idea has been my ultimate dream and I plan to carry it out. I love the friends that I have made through Mary Kay and am not going to stop selling, I just have realized that my dream is far different from other’s in my unit and that it is better for me to focus my energy on my business goal and my personal life goals. Selling cosmetics was meant for me to bring a little extra money into my pocket, nothing else.
I think I have found out who I really am both in a good and a bad way this past year. I need to be me and not what others what me to be.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “May the love hidden deep inside your heart find the love waiting in your dreams. May the laughter that you find in your tomorrow wipe away the pain you find in your yesterdays.” ~Unknown
June 14, 2012
I know I post a lot of inspirational quotes and photos on my blog. It is something that has really turned my life around this last year. Today I challenged my Facebook friends and blog page followers, as well as my blog followers, to go find one of your favorite quotes or bible verses and read it, read it at least three times. Process the quote or verse and what it means to you. Take time to think about what this quote or verse means to you. Then I challenge you to share it with your friends either in person or on Facebook (if you are on there). Also please share the quote here for others to read. I love hearing new quotes. For me reading a simple message really turns my day around and you also never know when a quote might make a difference in someone else’s life too.
I spent the day with my parents doing some shopping. I am trying to keep busy as I am off work over the summer. Today I bought a pair of heels which is something I would never think about wearing normally. But as I have grown more confident and I need to look nice for my Mary Kay events, I have been searching for a pair of heels that I didn’t think I would kill myself it. I found a cute black pair with just a tiny little heel but I think they look good on me and are a good pair to start with.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “He who depends on himself will attain the greatest happiness.” ~Chinese Proverb
June 13, 2012
I know I am not finished with my journey yet, I am tweaking a few things in my life and hoping that it will jump start me back on the road to my goals. It’s time to try to live my life without the aid of anti-anxiety pills which I have relied on for many years. I have been on them so many years I don’t even remember what it is like to not need them. I have been pretty much stable emotional for the last year and my anxiety has been gone for a year. So both my husband and I agree that it is time to try living without them. I no longer want to use those pills as a place to run and hide when something is bothering me. Plus I know those pills don’t help my weight either. There is no harming in trying life without them, if the time isn’t right after all I can always go back on them. I started weaning myself off last night and actually sleep okay and have had no signs of anxiety.
I know that I have far to go, but it’s nice to look back on the last 10 years and realize how far I have come. Those of you who know me personally know that I am a completely different person that I was even a year ago. I embrace life and myself. I don’t like giving up on things. Before I gave up and soon as something became too difficult. I never even tried. In the past this unexplained 10 pound weight gain in two weeks would have completely shut me down. Now I reevaluate what is going on and look for possible causes and then I fix them and move one. Before I would have given up and become severely depressed. But that’s not me anymore.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.” ~Ingrid Bergman