Decided to blog a little earlier than usual today. Just sitting at home by myself listening to music and looking at craft ideas. Took a two mile walk at the park with my parents earlier. Patrick is at work until this evening, making stuffed peppers for dinner stuffed with black beans, veggies, and brown rice. I am excited to try them. Thursday is my appointment with my surgeon for both my two year follow up and the gastric bypass discussion. I think I know what I want to do now, spent a lot of yesterday and today thinking.
I know that I will never get to where I belong and will be happiest at without another surgery. My first surgery was not a failure, it was merely a stepping stone to get me to where I needed to be to be in the best possible place for bypass. Bypass was my original surgery of choice when I first looked into it in 2007 and in 2010. In 2007 I decided I was still too young for anything and wasn’t confident with the hospital I had my consultation at. In 2010 I tried a different hospital and found the perfect doctor. We both decided that the gastric sleeve should be the first surgery I try because at the time I had a BMI of over 60 which makes bypass not as safe. I was also diagnosed with bi-polar disorder (misdiagnosis!) at the time and was on tons of medication for that. He didn’t want to have the surgery affect my medications that I was taking. Now with a proper diagnosis, one medication, and a BMI in the 50s I am in the go to consider bypass now. On Thursday I am going to see what is required to have the second surgery. I have insurance that will cover weight loss surgery so I will also learn what’s involved in getting it covered.
I need this to save my life, I need this to keep going in the right direction. I need this to live the life I have always wanted.
Daily Inspirational Quote: ”Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.” ~Dorothy Thompson