I realized something this afternoon as I was sitting at the park waiting for my good friend so we could walk the trail, I realized that regardless of what the final number on the scale will be for me, I know this, that I am happier and more confident than I have ever been in my life. I am truly happy and I don’t need a number on the scale to feel that way.
Sure I want to lose more but if it’s no drastic loss I am not going to be unhappy with myself or let it hold me back. I would to at least get another 50 lbs off so that I could look into some plastic surgery like my bariatric surgeon suggested. I think it needs to be done and certainly will after losing another 50 lbs. I was running (at a faster pace than my 5Ks) yesterday morning with my personal trainer as part of our session and it was actually physically uncomfortable to run. My lower stomach hangs down more than it did when I weight almost 100 lbs more and as I was trying to run as fast as I could I could hear it slapping the tops of my legs. I’m just lucky that it probably wasn’t loud enough to hear. My bariatric surgeon reminded me at my last appointment that this journey is a marathon and not a spirit. It’s so easy to forget that when you see everyone melting away. This whole journey to lose what I have has been a long winded one, three years in the making. But I can’t (and wouldn’t compare) myself to others, we all have different journeys. My journey has been a great journey and just as important, my journey doesn’t revolve around the scale but around a young woman finding her true self and overcoming extreme depression. The weight loss is just an added bonus, I know I’ll get those 50 lbs off eventually, I’m just going to keep working hard and staying the course. Over the last two weeks I have been increasing my activity so I am hoping that it will end my apparent long winded stall.
But like I said no matter what happens in my journey I am happier than I have ever been before and for me personally that is the great victory I could have ever achieved in my life.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “I don’t believe in failure, because simply by saying you’ve failed, you’ve admitted you attempted. And anyone who attempts is not a failure. Those who truly fail in my eyes are the ones who never try at all. The ones who sit on the couch and whine and moan and wait for the world to change for them.” ~Sarah Dessen