This morning I participated in my third Walk From Obesity. Like every year I had a great time with great people. As my stress seems to mount day after day I am reminded that I need to work on my anger and stress levels. Once again they are reaching very high levels and I am not comfortable with it. I have always been fascinated with Buddhism and I need to honestly get back in to learning about it so that I can try to practice that lifestyle. Organized religion is not for me. I like the ideals of Buddhism and the fact that it is more of a way of life than a religion.
I honestly can’t take the amount of worry, anger, and stress that are following through my body right now. People tell me to relax but that is easier said than done. I know worrying, stressing, and being angry don’t accomplish anything but when that’s the way you have always been it’s hard to stop. My goal for the next several weeks is try to mediate before bed and when I get upset. I also want to learn more about Buddhism. I also feel like stress levels will drop after Tuesday’s appointment and that I am okay to submit for a date. Other people tell me not to stress about Tuesday. But I am going to and telling me not to doesn’t help at all. It’s always easy for people who don’t have to deal with the stress and the pressure to say that I shouldn’t worry or that if I don’t make it this month that there is next month. I don’t want there to be a next month because to me that means another month of stressing about some stupid damn number on the scale. I want to meet my weight on Tuesday, submit, and then hopefully be approved and get a date. I want this second half of my journey started and this first half put behind me. The first half was hellish and I want to move on from it.
Daily Inspirational Quote: “Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others.” ~Buddha
