I guess my little rant reached people yesterday because I had the most views ever on my blog yesterday. So far I have not had any negative comments on my Facebook or blog today. To those out there who hate, I am much healthier than before especially mentally. I may not be hundreds of pounds down and probably never will be. I am starting to come to the realization that I will never be under 200 lbs. My body just won’t be losing that much. I will be happy to get under 300 lbs. Lately, I feel like I am not going to get to an “acceptable” weight for society, it might be acceptable for me, but never for the world. I will always be the “fat girl.” I think people of size need to be accepted in this society, we are people too and not everyone becomes fat because they eat McDonalds 3 times a day. Who am I kidding, American will be never acceptable “fat people.” I gained hundreds of pounds to protect myself from being sexual harmed again. Luckily the love of my life looked past that and saw me for me. Most men aren’t like that, they want body not brains.
Sometimes I think that I should never have had the surgery since numbers wise I am a “failure” to others, but then I think about what it has done for me mentally. I have been battling depression and anxiety for over a decade and no longer on tons of pills for it is a HUGE accomplishment. I am not longer anxious about going to work or life in general. I rarely suffer from anxiety anymore unless I am being obsessive compulsive about something and my depression is now nonexistent.
Today Patrick and I got a new membership at a new gym nearby, I enjoyed my old gym but this new gym has an indoor track that I can train for the Couch to 5K now plus I got discount through my job. We are excited to start working out there and to my husband’s excitement there is an indoor pool there too. Maybe with the new gym membership I can get a few more pounds off. I think I have plateaued again. I have a counseling appointment tomorrow but I am choosing not to weigh in because I have not worked out lately and body acts like it doesn’t want to lose any weight unless I work out super hard at the gym for hours everyday and honestly that’s not very realistic for me. I will weigh in at the end of the month after getting back to the gym and go from there.
Daily Inspirational Quote: ”May you always have walls for the winds, a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire, laughter to cheer you, those you love near you,and all your heart might desire.” ~Irish Blessing
