I am blown away with how many people have registered to participate in the 500 Miles In 2014 walking campaign next year. We are at 91 participants already and it’s only the second day of registration! This is awesome and I can’t wait to see how many we end up having after registration closes on January 5. All the information you need is at http://bariatricbeginnings.com/500-miles-in-2014-walking-campaign/ and you can sign up at: http://bariatricbeginnings.polldaddy.com/s/500-miles-in-2014-registration. You can also follow the campaign on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/500milesin2014 for healthy recipes, walking tips, inspiration, and more! I will also be doing a monthly newsletter with the campaign, you can look for your first newsletter on or around December 27.
Now on to more personal issues, lately my struggle has been anxiety, which I have managed to keep at bay for a long time. However it seems to be more frequent now usually just at night. As if I didn’t already have issues sleeping now I am having crippling anxiety attacks every so often. I am usually on my own to deal with them as my husband who has narcolepsy has to go to bed far before me due to a night time medication he takes. Usually my attacks involve me and holding my cat. If it’s really bad a phone call to my parents is in order. I am trying my best to manage these attacks and these attacks remind me that I am alive. I can vaguely remember no having any emotions when I was so drugged up on my seven medications for my mis-diagnosed bipolar disorder. It’s kind of sad that I have little to no memory of those years that I was on all that medication. My husband and I were talking today about the fact that I barely remember my own wedding, maybe it’s because I was living with severe depression and I have just tried to block out all those years. He and I badly want to renew our vows one year in a way they we both can remember. It’s not that my original ceremony was bad, but I was unhappy with life the time and for many years after, that I would like to have a do-over so to speak. I think we may make that our plan for our 10th wedding anniversary in 2017 which is only 3 1/2 years off!
You might remember back in October I talked about my priorities changing (http://bariatricbeginnings.com/2013/10/13/my-priorities-have-changed/) that maybe I don’t want plastic surgery and that I am ready for a family instead. But lately once again I’m just not sure what I want anymore. I’m lost 10 more lbs since that post and honestly it felt like that little bit pushed me towards being even more saggy or maybe I am finally realizing that I have more saggy skin than I thought. I was telling myself it wasn’t worth all the pain but lately it’s becoming more and more of an issue. I also have it in my head that I’m not going to lose anymore weight and then next thing I know it happens, it’s just been such a slow and hard journey for me that I keep thinking that no more is going to come off and then it does. I need to realize that I have no idea where I am going to end up weight wise that if I lose another 30 or 40 lbs that I am going to have real skin issues. I just need to make up this decisions when the scale stops moving whenever that maybe or I need to at least wait until I see my surgeon again in January. I need to remember not to live in the future, it’s not a guarantee.
“No matter how much you stress or obsess about the past or future, you can’t change either one. In the present is where your power lies.” ~Mandy Hale